Overwhelming Schedules and Panic Attacks

"Calm down."

Those two words came out of my husband's mouth a few days ago. He could see my panic rising. Not that it's easy to miss when it gets going. I looked up with a tear filled frenzied look in my eyes and responded, "We're trapped again."

I was writing our church volunteer schedules onto the calendar. Our calendar was looking so full now and suddenly I couldn't breathe. Flashes of another time and place bombarded me and I just wanted to run away.

Some people thrive on a completely filled schedule. They embrace having something to do every minute of every day. Kudos to those of you like that. I am not one of those people. I tried to be that once and it nearly destroyed my family and me.

Fear. I was letting it get to me. The only option with fear is to chase after it and face it head on. That is when I find I grow the most.

So, I calmed down, as my husband so lovingly suggested. I focused on the blocks that were not filled in with ink. My husband reminded me that it is not like before and that my little free spirit self was safe to fly when needed.

Deep breath in and deep breath out. Okay, I felt better. He was right (again, ugh!). My family is still able to come first. And I really love the areas I volunteer in. I walk in knowing that my identity in Christ is not found in my identity in the church. The pressure is off (unless I put it there). My focus is longer on how I am not....enough, but in Christ and who I am in Him.

Bri