37 Wednesdays

Easter wore me out...

Who knew that my 7 day writing challenge was going to be so difficult? This is the first time I have been on my computer since the last time I blogged. So, here I am, beginning the challenge .... again.

I want nothing more than to be in bed right now. Yet, here I sit, in front of the computer - trying to multitask. While blogging, I also have one of my books open, working on some revisions, photoshop open for a composite art piece I am working on, creating a to do list for tomorrow, checking facebook, and thinking about all of the things that I still need to get done.

Sigh....

We are finally finishing up all of the Easter dinner leftovers. I have not turned on my stove since Sunday! Tomorrow I will cook again. (And my family stands up and cheers at hearing this). 

Easter was so much fun. We spent it at our home with family. All of the kids got kites and had a blast flying them. I got a little teary eyed - probably due to watching the movie, Saving Mr. Banks. Kites and pears have taken on a whole new meaning for me. I hope everyone had a fantastic Easter weekend.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

37 Fridays

It's a Good Day...

Today is Good Friday! We have had such a busy week and an even bigger weekend ahead for my family. My hope is that everyone has a fantastic Easter weekend.

My husband and I spent two hours, last night, trying to agree on the candy to put in the plastic eggs for our Sunday family egg hunt. Two hours! I am beginning to think there might be something seriously wrong with us. Finally, I threw my hands up and let him win. We got home only to discover that some of the candy wouldn't fit in those shrinking eggs. Ha! Who's the winner in this really?

I am breaking out the camera for Easter this year! In the past, I have been so grateful for a day off from shooting that I stopped capturing family moments. So busy documenting for others that I forgot about documenting for me. So, this morning I began my Daily Life project. I will photograph my family every single day. I will have my camera readily available at all times. My kids are going to think that their mom has turned into some kind of paparazzi crazy woman. I'm okay with that.

I have learned the difference between being alive and living. And I have decided to choose living. And I am striving to be known more for what I stand for instead of what I stand against. I am choosing to love and forgive. I am realizing that sometimes, in order to move forward, I have to let go - and I am coming to terms with that revelation. I am learning to enjoy that moment, suspended for the briefest of breaths, that comes at the end of crying. After the last tear, the finality of the pain and the burgeoning birth of hope in all that is new and good. And I am drinking in love with everything I have so that I can pour it out on others.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

37 Thursdays

Cutting It Close...

I will be setting a new personal record tonight for shortest post.

Remember the people you love and why you love them.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

38 Wednesdays

Keep It Short and Sweet...

I am going to meet this 7 day writing challenge. Tonight is probably the shortest post I have ever done. Why? Because I just realize that my husband went to bed without me. And I want to talk to him before he falls asleep.

Tomorrow I am going on a prayer walk. I am circling some things in prayer. If you haven't read, The Circle Maker, by Mark Batterson....I highly recommend that you do.

Now, I am off to bed with my husband.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

37 Tuesdays

Starting Over...

My attempt at the 7 day writing challenge was a total bust. I have been dealing with migraines and allergy junk and I just have not been able to sit at the computer. I am, however, feeling much better now. Time to begin the 7 day challenge ..... again. I will be victorious!

I have been feeling restless lately. It's as if I am at the starting line of a race and I am impatiently waiting for the "Go" so I can take off. Standing at the edge of a precipice, ready to make the leap and ride on the wind. Maybe I am feeling this way because it is spring and I am emerging from my winter weather cabin fever quarantine. 

"Not enough hours in the day" is a phrase that seems to be on repeat in my mind daily. Time management skills continue to elude me. I am determined to conquer my long time foe. 

I've been reminded of one of my favorite worship songs, "This is Life", by Laura Woodley Osman.

I am linking to a youtube video of the song here. The quality isn't great, but it is a beautiful song. I was singing it tonight and my daughter exclaimed, "I remember this song. You used to sing it all the time." I smiled and agreed. Then she asked, "Why did you stop?"  I gave her an answer about how I had just forgotten the song because I had learned others and time just passed. My little girl shook her head and said, "No mom. Why did you stop singing all the time, like you used to?"  I hadn't realized that I had stopped singing. When did there cease to constantly be a song on my heart? 

So, I am going to remember life. And I am going to keep a song on my heart. And I am going to sing.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

38 Thursdays

Just under the wire...

So close to midnight. I almost didn't make it. My husband and I spent the day painting and hanging border in the kitchen. I am so tired, but my mind is running at top speed, thinking of all the spring cleaning that I now want to do. 

I wish that I had something profound to share tonight. I don't though. Not that I usually do.

My prayer is that everyone has a peaceful night tonight. Whisper I love you's to your family as you go to bed. Smile over a memory that you made today. Remember that tomorrow is another day, full of hope, promise and possibilities.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

39 Wednesdays

Too much or too little....

I freeze up when I meet new people and they ask me about......well, me. I never really know how much they want to know. Do they want the full version that has lots of details (I write - so I'm full of little details) or the vague short version? I tend to go with the short version, which usually makes me look as interesting as watching paint dry. 

It's the same in casual social situations. I am not great at small talk. Give me a mission or task and put me in an arena with 10,000 people and I am cool as a cucumber. Put me in a small gathering to "hang out" or "fellowship" and I spend most of the time talking myself out of a panic attack.

Part of the problem? I have trouble with my hearing. I read lips....often. So, I am trying to hear, read lips, compute what is being said, read facial expressions, and come up with a response (hopefully witty), and something else to say. 

Another problem? I am a bit weird. Some people just don't "get" me. I can be hard to follow when I really get to talking. Also, my humor is a bit different. 

I never seem to be able to find that line of just enough. How much does someone really want to know about me? Do they really want the full answer to their question or are they just being polite?

This is something I really need to work on.

Love and Blessings!

Bri

38 Tuesdays

Nothing Groundbreaking....

This is day 2 of my 7 day writing challenge. I spent my day running errands, working on a storyline for a new book and hanging out with my husband.

Today was a day. A seemingly unexciting day. A day that can, at times, seem to drag on forever yet pass by quickly. At first glance, it is a day that won't go down in the memory books, highlighted by an extreme event. It's always good to give a second glance. To look deeper. To see. Really see. To mark. To highlight. To remember.

Today....I prayed for people.
Today....I learned something new about my children. I shared in their triumphs of the day.
Today....I learned of a death in a family that I care deeply about. Their sorrow is mine.
Today....I laughed with my sister.
Today....I shared companionship, banter, and love with my husband.
Today....I was reacquainted with an old friend.
Today....I was blessed.
Today....I was loved.
Today....I blessed.
Today....I loved.
Today....I lived.

Love and Blessings!
Bri

Better Late than Never...

38 Mondays

Last Tuesday, my challenge was to blog for seven straight days.

Today is my first day back on the blog since then.

Last week, I was so sick that my entire focus was one of survival, not living.

So...today is day one of my seven day challenge. I am a different woman than I was a week ago. There were many lows last week. There was also fever. There were also some highs. More lows than highs, but that is how I got my breakthrough.

I was mean to my husband. Actually, mean is too nice of a word. I was vicious. I was hurting and I struck out at him. There I was, on this path of breakthrough and discovery, and I was fighting it....lashing out. So close to the answers to my questions and I was gripping to a life unlived like a rope of salvation. Afraid of the answers. More afraid of the answers than the questions had ever made me.

My husband loves me and I have never wavered in this truth. Ever. Until last week. And it wasn't so much that I doubted that he loved me as I was suddenly unsure of how much he could handle. Of what I was throwing at him. I had to come clean about things that I didn't even realize were destroying our marriage. Because I was only seeing how things were affecting me. 

Saturday night, while everyone else was sleeping, I sat in my bed and I cried. And I prayed. And I asked. And I got the answers. Because I was finally ready to get them. I had been asking God over and over what my purpose is. My real, God given purpose. What I was created for. This has been the essence of my blog, finding my purpose. And I have been discovering and growing and learning...and that is great and important. But there was always something just out of my line of vision. There was something missing and it was frustrating. The last couple of weeks have been a culmination of things that have been preparing my heart to receive. Only in my complete brokenness was I finally open to seeing and hearing my true, primary purpose.

It wasn't what I expected. It wasn't what I ever thought. And when I heard it, my initial response was, "Really?".  I'm called to the very thing that frightens me. What I am so terrible at. What I have avoided. And then I find out that it's my purpose.

I woke up Sunday, still reeling from the night before. Head to church, and the message is confirmation of everything God showed me on Saturday night. Every word drove my purpose deeper and deeper into my heart. 

Today is my first day of Being in My Purpose. It feels scary but more importantly, it feels right.

Love and Blessings!

Bri 

39 Tuesdays

Time is Fleeting....

Only 39 Tuesdays left in 2014. It's time for an evaluation of my life, productivity, purpose, goals, love meter, and quality of time spent.

Where have I been? Where am I at? Where am I going?

Those three questions need to be asked constantly.

My son, youngest daughter, and I were baptized last night. By my husband. In a hot tub. To some, it might seem weird, but I assure you it is not. I have talked about my testimony before, so it is probably no surprise that I hadn't been baptized (besides when I was 11 and not saved - so it didn't count).

Today, I have been attacked by the newly baptized children with countless April Fool's Day jokes. Sadly, they get their sense of humor from their father. (jk honey! sort of :)

April allergies have begun and my husband is finding it impossible to find my puffy eyes and runny nose sexy.

It is also Spring Break for my children. After photo sessions today, I am off for the week and I am still planning our activities. (My organizational skills still need work)

My challenge is to blog every single day for the next 7 days. This is because I have found myself blogging less and less.

Challenge accepted!

Love and Blessings,
Bri