Heartbreak...

I have been dealing with a profound heartbreak for a little over a month now. And because the gaping wound was so raw and fresh and aching, it had been difficult to want to write on the blog.

When a bond, that was forged through blood, childhood promises, heart, smiles and tears, laughter and pain, finally breaks.......it is a devastating loss felt deep in the soul. The effect is crippling. When that bond breaks, and you know with an excruciating finality that it can never be repaired......the sadness is overwhelming.

The bond that went beyond friendship. The bond that was hands clasped tightly together, vowing to always be together. The bond that was very much firmly in place in every part of your being. A true heart mate.

Gone. Ripped away. Shattered. Forever.

How do you come back from that kind of loss? How do you stop reaching for the phone, only to remember that you can't make that call anymore? How do you recover from that kind of death?

I wish I could say that it gets easier. I wish it would feel easier. It isn't just the fact that the relationship is gone. It is the agony of missing what that brought to my life - the joy, the laughter, the challenge, the love. It just stopped. A bond that I never expected to break and lose forever is gone. And it hurts. And, I imagine it will always hurt. The loss of it. Without even the tiniest thread with which to rebuild, a door closed, never to be opened again. And will never be the same. There will always be a scar within me from this. And now every good memory is intertwined with the pain of the loss. And, perhaps, that is the saddest part of all.

Bri

Artwork by Judith Redman