49 Thursdays

No more excuses...

I used to be thin. Then I became fat.  Now, I am getting healthy.  There were endless excuses for my weight gain. I developed a heart problem while pregnant with my youngest daughter. I was depressed. I liked food. I couldn't help it. I tried to justify it away instead of dealing with the problem.

The problem was that I was fat and I had made myself that way. Not just fat, but unhealthy. I was destroying my body. Gluttony was my sin of choice. Why?

I was thin when I met my husband and had been for years. So, what happened? A couple of months before we were married, some relatives (who were not keen on the marriage) told me that I would be just like my mother and cheat on my husband. They planted fear inside of me. And I fed it. I changed the way I dressed and acted. And the added weight was like a barrier between me and other men. Did I have any reason to believe I would cheat? No. Was I afraid that I would? Yes. And the only reason was because I believed what someone else said about me. So I just kept adding to the weight that I viewed as my shield.

When I got sick, I realized what I was doing to my body and that I had to change it. Even more importantly, I realized I had the power to change it. I was faced with a choice. I could choose my family, my life and happiness or I could choose this sin that was killing me.

As I began losing the weight, I remember a moment of panic where I asked myself, "What if I cheat?". My husband thought the idea was absurd. He knew I would never cheat. And I knew I would never cheat. All of that over someone else's words. People who never really knew me at all. And I spiraled into years of sin and self harm because of it. Underneath all of those excuses, the truth was that I was punishing myself. Punishing myself for not being the idea of perfection.

My challenge to you today is to make that choice. What is that sin that you excuse and justify? What is it that you use to be numb, to avoid, to seemingly protect, to hide, to punish yourself? I pray that you choose life. I pray that you choose to stop punishing yourself. No more excuses. Excuses run out.

Love and Blessings!
Bri