49 Tuesdays

Stop trying to squeeze into the mold.....

Last year, I was a bit out of sorts. I was feeling lost and without direction. Trying to find my way. I found myself without an identity. I had just come out of a situation where I had spent years trying to fit into a mold. A mold of  "excellence". A mold of set expectations. A mold that I did not fit in. A mold that I wasn't made to fit in.

Years of not asking questions because to ask questions would show that there was something wrong with me. Defective. Broken. Worthless. So I squeezed. And I squeezed. And I was miserable. Hurting. Hiding. Hiding me. After all, there was clearly something wrong with me because I didn't fit that mold. I couldn't meet that standard of excellence that I was told to reach. Each time I tried, and failed, I fell deeper and deeper into a pit of self-hate and despair. What was wrong with me? Why wasn't I good enough?

And then....I was released from the mold. Catapulted out. I was sent flying through the air without a net. Not knowing where I would land. I landed hard. Frightened and unsure of who I was and who I was created to be. I was suddenly thrust in a world without molds. Required to find my own way. So I hid. I hid within myself. A bubble seemed to burst inside of me. Ideas, dreams, desires, hopes, values...just came flowing out of me. It was a whirlwind. Chaos. I had to sort through them all. What was good? What to keep? What to purge out? What were truly my likes and dislikes? I didn't even know.

Overwhelmed by it all, I did the only thing I could.....I looked up and surrendered it all over to God. I needed His help. I asked Him the questions because I knew He had the right answers. He is molding me with His hands now. I don't have to try and fit into a manufactured mold that is man made. There is a quote that stood out to me: "Do not make excellence an idol, and be not idle waiting for perfection". That really struck my heart. While trying to fit in that mold, I was caught in limbo. Unable to move. Unable to be effective.

And now? Now, I am free. I am going forward. I have confidence in who I am because I get to be who I am in Him. Now, I am effective for the kingdom. No more molds that I don't fit. The Sculptor who created me molds me and makes me after His will. I am changing, growing, taking shape.

I want to be clear, I am not talking about essentials. The commonality of Christianity. Jesus Christ is the only source of salvation. I am unwavering in this. What I have been sharing about involves the things we have liberty in. Christians are the body of Christ. We all have a different purpose. I couldn't try and fit into the mold of the hand when I am part of the foot. It makes the body walk funny. Then the body isn't effective. I want to be effective.

So, my challenge to you is to break out of that mold you are trying to fit in. No matter what it is. There are different types of molds. I've broken them all. Is it some expected idea of motherhood and the "type" of mother you should be? You were created to be you. Not someone else. And you can only be the best you when you stop trying to be someone else and find out who you were created to be. And the only way to do that is to ask the Creator.

Love and Blessings!
Bri