45 Tuesdays

How Great is Thy Love....

About nine years ago, I was pregnant with my youngest child. I was leading Children's ministry at my church. I was working in various areas of the church. Then, one day, something happened to me. Something that turned my world upside down and changed me forever.

My husband and I were in a Christian bookstore on a Saturday (I was purchasing supplies for children's church the next day). I stopped and picked up a book. It was, What Did Jesus Do?, by Ray Comfort. I walked around with it and couldn't put it down. I looked at my husband and told him that I had to have that book. I knew it was important. I didn't realize that it was a matter of life and death.

The book was purchased and I read it that night. Crying, I went to my husband and said, "I'm not saved".

I was broken. I had believed a lie. I was teaching children and I was bound for hell. That book by Ray Comfort was the first real presentation of the Gospel that I had ever heard. What I had been told before was a lie. 

Christians go to heaven. Don't you want to go to heaven? It's happy there. God will make your life better if you are a Christian. Just believe that Jesus is God's Son and that he died for us. All you have to do is say this prayer and you're in the club. And these are the things that Christians do, so when you do them, everyone knows you are a Christian. It's that easy.

Lies. All of it. It was works based. I was working so hard to rid myself of my doubts .... to be a good enough Christian. To work for God's love, His acceptance of me. The truth was - I was not saved. I was never born again. I was dealing with the same heart. The same spirit as before. It all became so clear once I saw myself in the light of the Gospel.

The law showed me that I was condemned and bound for judgment. A single lie was enough to sentence me to an eternity in Hell. The law showed me that I needed a Savior and why I needed one. I sinned against a Holy God. The God who created me. The God who loved me. The God who created me for a purpose. And I betrayed Him. When I saw myself as I truly was, the sorrow, the pain that I felt. What had I done? And then, the Good News of the grace of God. Jesus Christ. The Savior. The Beloved Son that God sacrificed for me. Would I ever willingly sacrifice my child for someone who betrayed me? That brought me to my knees. Jesus took my punishment. He endured the anguish of complete separation from God. He felt the eternity of it. The hopelessness. The pain. The death. All for me. To try and understand the depth of that kind of love for me...overwhelming. I believed. I really believed. Not just in what He did, but why He did it. I cried out to God, begged Him to forgive me. I handed over my life for a brand new one. When I stood up, I was new. I was a different person. I had life, real life, flowing through me. In awe of who He is, what He's done, what He continues to do. I was really born again. 

"For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever BELIEVES in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world, through Him, might be saved." John 3:16-17 

I finally understood what BELIEVE really meant. I was condemned and I was saved through Jesus Christ. I repented and believed. Only through my repentance could I see, really see, what I needed. Who I needed. The grace that was provided. My salvation.

I would love for you to read the book of John today. Read it straight through. It is really a love letter. It is beautiful. It will build your faith. 

And, if you aren't born again, I pray that your eyes will be opened, your heart softened and that you will hear the Gospel. If you are searching, I pray that you find the answers. I am always available. I can be contacted by email (info@brigardner.com) or Facebook

Love and Blessings!

Bri